I didn\u2019t realise that I\u2019d drifted off to sleep until I woke from that sticky dryness I\u2019d come to remember as thirst. I tried to exercise some discipline by checking the time before sating myself, but the bulb was still empty before I knew it, with the unpleasant sensation in my mouth barely receding for all my rush. I must have been quite noisy, as Ellin turned from her seat and shook her head at me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201dKeep on swigging like that and you\u2019ll need to purge a lot sooner.”\u009d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Her bluntness had me scowling before I realised it. I bit my lip and chose not to pick a third fight for the day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201dHonestly, I\u2019m just happy that I don\u2019t have to eat.”\u009d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She shrugged. \u201dFair enough. It\u2019s never done much for me, either.”\u009d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As far as I could tell, Ellin was much like Peri – short, lean, and pale. Her face was at least distinct enough for me to parse, with a broad, blunt nose and hair kept short even by ship standards, a dense stubble that almost showed the skin beneath. She\u2019d barely spoken to me while we were on our way down in the lander, but her reticence didn\u2019t seem to be masking the sort of nervous tension I\u2019d seen in Asteyan and Hu. I took a chance and beckoned her over.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201dEllin, did you know that Asteyan had been falsifying reports?”\u009d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201dNo, I didn\u2019t. What was it, private collections?”\u009d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I shook my head. \u201dNo, he\u2019s been covering up lapses in discipline and morale.”\u009d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201dOh, that\u2019s all.”\u009d Ellin\u2019s face pulled itself down while her shoulders bobbed. \u201dSooner than I expected. Being all the way out here, it\u2019s not something they\u2019re used to.”\u009d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201dThe researchers?”\u009d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She nodded. \u201dAnd Asteyan. All they know is being crowded in with each other. Hab-folk, planet dwellers, whichever – either way you take having people around for granted. Most people need that, even if it\u2019s just so there\u2019s someone for them to bicker with. Take that away and most people end up fraying at the edges. The red outside doesn\u2019t make things any nicer, either.”\u009d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201dYou seem to be managing all right.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She squinted at me and made a face I couldn\u2019t decipher. \u201dWe\u2019re not most people, we\u2019re crew. They take pains to make sure we\u2019re not<\/em> like that. Some of us are tough enough to handle it. Some of us just prefer being alone. I don\u2019t think the managers care which it is as long as we\u2019re reliable.”\u009d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I did my best to set my face into something formal, or at least neutral. \u201dThank you for your candour, Ellin. I\u2019ll admit, I wasn\u2019t expecting you to be so familiar.”\u009d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Her face broke out into a wide grin at that. \u201dHah, well. I know this is a bad situation, I know you\u2019re an Arbiter, but It\u2019s hard to be scared when you\u2019re riding around in old Gus here.”\u009d She reached out and patted me on the cheek. \u201dI promise you, Trinn, there\u2019s nothing I haven\u2019t already seen or heard from this shell. Carping from passengers, Peri bossing me around, ship-auto moving him like a puppet\u2026 all sorts of things. He\u2019s like an old friend!”\u009d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I had no answer to that, and found myself giving in to the rising urge to turn from her touch, from her gaze, blank out the air pushing through my throat, the water settling too heavy inside me. Some time passed there before I felt Ellin\u2019s hand again, on my shoulder this time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201dI\u2019m sorry, Trinn. Peri did say you had a rough start, I didn\u2019t realise it was still an issue. I should have known better.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I shook my head. \u201dNo, it\u2019s fine, Ellin. I can handle it.”\u009d I still didn\u2019t look at her.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I didn\u2019t realise that I\u2019d drifted off to sleep until I woke from that sticky dryness I\u2019d come to remember as thirst. I tried to exercise some discipline by checking the time before sating myself, but the bulb was still … Continue reading